The Story of Public Urination Guy

I got to talking to one of my newly single friends and she told me this story of ‘public urination guy’...
A bit of history on this fellow. She dated him briefly years ago but for whatever reason it didn’t work.

Recently falling back into contact with him in her newly found singledom (they seem to come out of
the woodwork), they were texting each other a couple of Saturday nights ago. He was at a party and
she was having a quiet night at home. Late night hunger got the better of her and she found herself
on the way to Macas for a late night cheeseburger during which she received a text asking if she
could pick him up from a party in the city. With the promise of a late night spliff, my friend agreed to
pick him up. Generally, she is of the opinion that a woman should never pick up a drunken man in the
middle of the night if she’s not in a relationship with him (and even then it’s a bit of a big ask – get a
cab boyfriend!), but my friend was single, had no one to answer to and wasn’t doing anything else so
her standards and judgement were slightly skewed.


Waiting for longer than normal outside a fine city establishment, he eventually got into her car and
apologised for taking so long. He advised that he had just been fined by the police for public
urination. Hmm attractive she thought to herself, already regretting that she had picked him up.
Vague thoughts floating back into her mind as to the reasons on why she stopped seeing him in the
first place; reasons however unfortunately not clear enough for her to fully remember.

Arriving at his house, he made good on his promise of a spliff. She observed him; stupendously
drunk, slurring his speech but undeniably hot. Predictably he tried to kiss her and feel her up as he
lay on her lap, at one point grabbing her hand, guiding it down towards his male anatomy saying “Just
touch it”. She quickly retracted her hand and told him that she hadn’t seen him in a very long time
and as a result she did not want to kiss or touch his privates and in fact only wanted to hang out. He
said ok sure no problems but the attempts at ‘romance’ continued of course – she didn’t expect
anything less really. Eventually he got tired and suggested they sleep. Fully clothed, spooning,
inclusive of random attempts at feeling her ass, they eventually fell asleep.


She woke in the middle of the night to a strange and continuous noise. To give you an idea of his
room setup, his ensuite door is located right next to his bed. When she sat up, she could see him
standing there in front of his ensuite door. At first she wasn’t sure what he was doing until she
realised that the noise she could hear was actually him pissing. He was pissing on his ensuite door.
She feared for her expensive handbag on the floor nearby. He was still stupendously drunk, asleep
and now pissing all over the door. She screamed at him to open his bathroom door. Eventually he
did, but remaining in his current position he was now pissing all over his bathroom floor. She thought
about leaving. She actually really wanted to leave, but she didn’t want to risk be pulled over by the
police in the middle of the night. Eventually he climbed back into bed with piss all over his feet. She
decided to stay and leave in the morning.


Morning came and he was expectedly hungover like a dog. She asked him if he had any memory of
the night to which he replied “No”. After relaying the whole story, he was shocked and mortified.
Extremely embarrassed he quickly sat up to inspect the wet piss stains on the carpet.
“What a grot, she thought to herself. What a f*&king grot...”


His mortification and embarrassment did not last long. He got back under the covers, pulled his
underwear down and started to wank himself. She asked him if he was in fact wanking to which he
replied “I’m so horny.”


Time to call it quits and she quickly left after that.


She told him that she wouldn’t tell anyone… But she lied. She has told EVERYONE.
 
Lesson Learnt here gals doesnt matter how HOT the guy he still maybe simply me a GROT